By Theresa Moes
Marriage is neither a game nor a contact “sport” as it is in football. But oftentimes even the effort you need to put forth to make a good marriage, applies to playing a good game in football. Comparing marriage to football is no insult as I come from the part of the world where marriage is sacred. Sharing your thoughts is not to belittle marriage by saying it is like any other sport. But talk about the passion involved in football and in marriage. You will agree with me that only football is passionate enough to be compared to marriage. Take for instance, with other sports, players walk onto the field. In football they run onto the field. In other sports, fans cheer, in football they scream. And in other sports, players ‘high five’, in football they chest, smash shoulder pads, and pat your rear. Football is a passionate sport. And marriage is about passion and football can offer valuable insights into what’s involved in a marriage.
Whether you are preparing for marriage or already married, using the same playbook really helps. But people make the mistake of often entering relationships with different ones. Each playbook is filled with many unspoken expectations and rules. Unfortunately, when you don’t know what the rules are, there are penalties. Topics that usually create issues in marriages ranges from how you think about money, whether or not to have children, how to engage the in-laws, career goals, sex, friendships, and how to care for and build each other up – both individually and as a team. A winning team never forgets the rules of learning and perfecting the fundamentals so also in healthy relationships, the basics include healthy communication, effective conflict management and clear expectations.
Truth be told, there are lots of similarities between football and marriage, some of which are:
· Team spirit
In football, the whole team goes down if you lose the game. In a similar way with marriage, if one spouse loses, you both lose. It doesn’t benefit any marriage if one of you “wins” at the expense of your partner losing. Like football, like marriage, if one loses, you both lose. So the goal is to strive to find “win/win” solutions for both of you. Team spirit is important, like the old saying, “it’s one for all and all for one.”
A marriage or any relationship really, is a team effort. In the football game of life, a husband and wife are teammates driving towards the end zone together. The most important thing about working as a team is that you recognize each other’s strengths and weaknesses. In marriage both of you are expected to be a part of a “team.” Those with a singular “I’m in this for myself” mindset shouldn’t enter into marriage as marriage doesn’t work that way. In marriage, as it is in football, you are part of a team. This is not about doing your own thing solo.
· Commitment is key!
In football if you’re not committed, then don’t play. In marriage, if you’re not fully committed to giving it all you have, then don’t get married. Marriage, unlike football, is not a game and commitment is vital. It’s for those who are willing to do what it takes or go the extra mile to make it work. The beauty of football and marriage is that you have your team to help you towards that winning touchdown of life! Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But because you do it together, it makes it the greatest game and the greatest way to live your life- together.
· Keep improving
Take the good skills you have, and keep working to improve you. Do what you can to be an even better teammate. Apply yourself to learning what is needed. It’s those that stop doing this, or won’t apply themselves for whatever reasons that are in trouble. Marriage is all about working to improve, don’t forget that.
· keep the passion burning
It’s important to keep the passion in football, as well as in marriage. In football, we often hear of teams losing because they just “lost their passion.” They didn’t give it their all. They lost their spirit. The marriage may have started out with a lot of enthusiasm, but somewhere along the line, they allowed themselves to lose the vision of why they began the wonderful union in the first place –to win. So in all you do, keep the passion burning
· The Playbook is vital
In football, it’s the playbook that has your “plays” laid out for you. It contains the important things you need to know. If you don’t know and apply what’s in the playbook, you’ll most likely lose. Knowing and following the Playbook is vital and in marriage, it’s your Bible that will help you to know how to best live together as a great team. The principles for loving each other are the principles for living, which are there for your guidance throughout the Bible. It’s vital to know what’s in it and APPLY what you learn! Always make the Bible/Quran your best go for any issue.
· Effective Communication
Playing a good game as with a healthy marriage requires strong effective communication skills. There will be back and forth running and a lot of ball passing. For the center to hike the ball to the quarterback and have it received they got to know what each other is doing in every moment of every game. You need to be able to read each other’s signals and don’t neglect the importance of communication.
· Remember observers are watching
In football, we have a stadium of people watching their team. The fans are expecting them to win. In marriage it’s a bit the same and yet also different. Yes, there are observers. We have a “great cloud of witnesses” watching at all times. It’s important though, to always watch how we walk and live our lives. Keep your marriage strong, fun and lively at all times so that others, when they see you, may find themselves drawn to want to know the secret behind your marriage.
· The goal
It’s IMPORTANT to always keep in mind the goal. In football, it’s what they play for —to get there to score, and score well, at all cost. In marriage, our goal is finishing well. Importantly not only that your spouse is pleased, and those who observe how you live “a life of love” (Ephesians 5:1) together, but also that God is well pleased. There could be no sweeter feeling that victory could bring than to hear the words spoken by our Lord, “well done, good and faithful servant”.
Football is fun, but it sure has its challenges. And the same is true for marriage. It can be fun, but it sure can have its challenges. However, when it is finished well, the rewards are out of this world, don’t forget that. Fumbles, dropped passes, and interceptions will happen in your marriage. But, you need to learn from setbacks and have a game plan. You put your heads together and move in the same direction. A united front is essential. Locking arms, we move forward together no matter what the weather!
Please note it’s important to always keep in mind that you’re on the same team. Don’t fight each other, rather fight the outsiders who want to take you down by working together. You may not always think alike, but you can think together and you can build togetherness. As a matter of fact, it should be expected since in football, that’s what the other team tries to do. They work to trip you up and make you fall so you can’t get to the goal.
In marriage, life often throws the tackles lead by the enemy of our faith, plus, living in a fallen world. We’re told there will be “troubles” (1 Corinthians 7:28) in marriage, as well as “trials and tribulations” that will come to us in life (John 16:13). It’s what we do with those troubles, when we’re tackled by life that will make all the difference in the world. We are to get up, sometimes helping each other up. And we are to work together as a team to defeat the enemy, not allowing ourselves to fall to defeat.
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Theresa Moses, a.k.a Tessy Gold a.k.a Adorable is a creative journalist with an extraordinary personality. Sharing Your Thoughts is aimed to inspire you to be unique. It’s the thought that counts!
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