Eighty-seven-year-old Madam Bridget Ifedigbo from Ezi-Udeeke in Abaa, Oyi Local Government Area of Anambra State speaks to IKENNA OBIANERI about her childhood, marriage and state of the nation
What is your name?
My name is Bridget Ifedigbo. I am from Ezi-Udeeke in Abaa in the Oyi Local Government Area of Anambra State.
When and where were you born?
I was born around 1935 in a place that is presently called Oba in Idemili, Anambra State. At the period when I was born, there was no functional hospital near my community. My mother told me that because the labour came too suddenly, I was delivered at home with the help of the community women.
Was your date of birth written down?
No. But I got to know the date through my age mates, especially the ones whose parents were educated then. They wrote their birthdays somewhere on the walls of their houses and they grew up to see the dates. I was born in the same month with them; the difference was only in days. So I got to know my date of birth through them.
Who were your parents?
My parents were farmers. They were both indigenes of Oyi LGA. My father was also a hunter, although, he died very early.
How many children did your parents have?
They had five of us. I am the second child of the family and the only one still surviving.
What was your childhood like?
I had a good upbringing because my parents were very strict. I always went to the farm with my parents and when I came back, I would also be busy weaving baskets or engaging in one activity or the other. With the kind of parents I had, there was no room for laziness; my parents did not pamper me.
Did you start school early?
My father did not have enough money to send me and my elder brother to school at the same time. What he did was to enroll my elder brother in school first while I was made to wait. Unfortunately, my father died early and I could not start school early.
You speak good English. How did you learn it?
Because of my love for education, I was always sneaking out of my father’s farm to go to the school where my elder brother was enrolled. The school was not too far from the farm. Each time I went, I would just stand by the door and be watching what they were doing. I paid attention to all the things that were being taught to the extent that when my brother and his friends came back home and started analysing what they learnt in school, they would be surprised to see me participating and contributing to the discussion. And when my dad saw that I had great interest in school, he strived to enroll me but unfortunately his death terminated that ambition for me.
How did you feel about that?
I felt very bad. Till date, it remained the saddest moment of my life. My elder brother who had the opportunity to go to school later became an architect and a businessman. He is no more alive now, though.
Much later, my first son enrolled me at one of the adult literacy classes in town, where I got exposed to reading and writing. I will say reading also helped me. I read a lot of newspapers, magazines and inspirational books.
At what point did you start your own family?
I got married when I was 19 years old and I have three children.
Why did you stop at only three children when at that period, people went as far as having up to eight children and even more?
My husband died early and that put a stop to childbearing for me.
Why did you not remarry?
I loved my husband so much and shared very dear memories with him that when he passed on, I almost went into depression, but somehow, I was able to come out of it and I decided I was not going to remarry even though I had a lot of suitors who came my way.
And how did you cope all these years being alone, even during the cold weather?
Haaa! I got your point. I totally ‘locked up’ and with determination I was able to scale through. I simply concentrated my efforts on the upbringing of my children.
Do you think today’s ladies can do what you have done?
I don’t think so. The women now are not like us; we were very patient and totally submissive to our husbands. There was real love during our time that you hardly hear of divorce cases. In fact, divorce was like a taboo during our time, you dared not mention it at all. But now, a lot of things have changed and this is due to sophistication and changes in lifestyle. Divorce cases are rampant now and this generation doesn’t see it as any big deal.
How did you meet your husband?
In those days, it was either the mothers or the fathers that match-made their children. It was his mother that approached me and said she would like me to marry her son. She must have seen something she liked about me that warranted that. And when I finally met my husband, his gentle and soft nature got me attracted to him. Although, we came from the same community, I didn’t get to know him until the mother introduced him to me.
How old are your children now?
My first son is almost a grandfather now. I gave birth to him very early before my two daughters who are now above 50 years.
What will you consider as the highlights of your journey in life over the last 80 years?
I will say my contentment, doggedness and determination to succeed. I dared a lot of things while growing up, I even ventured into activities that were exclusively reserved for the boys then without minding the consequences. Even on many occasions that my mother could not pay the school fees of my senior brother, I went as far as doing some odd jobs then to earn money and gave my mother to pay my elder brother’s school fees. Even without a formal education, due to no fault of mine, I still ensured I acquired knowledge through personal efforts and training. I made a lot of efforts to ensure I was able to read and write and this exposed me to a lot of things in life. That ordinarily, I wouldn’t have, if I did not make the effort.
If you had had a formal education early, what would you have loved to become?
I would have loved to become a teacher because I love to transfer knowledge. Though, there may not be money in the teaching profession, following my senior brother to classes and seeing the way the teachers were doing it in those days really endeared me to that profession.
What occupation did you settle for?
I was a yam farmer. I inherited farming from my father. I acquired a lot of lands on rented basis and I used it to farm yams. That was what I engaged in which I used in giving my children and even some of my siblings quality education. I engaged in yam farming because then it had huge commercial value, I sold the items in various markets in Onitsha, Asaba, Warri and even Sapele. Travelling to those places also helped me to learn to speak good English to an extent. Farming in those days was fun to us and we enjoyed doing it.
Didn’t you get land inheritance from your father?
No, I did not inherit land from my father. In those days, women were not entitled to inherit land where I come from. Land matters were exclusive preserve of the male children. What I did was to use the land my brother inherited from my father to farm and when I began to expand, I started acquiring lands on lease for farming.
What was Nigeria like when you were growing up?
Nigeria was far better than what it is now. Then, you could afford to plan with the resources you had and be able to execute your plans easily. Security of lives and property was not an issue; you could afford to work on your farm till night and even decide to sleep there, without any fear of being attacked or kidnapped. Everything was the way it should be. There was nothing like mistrust among the ethnic groups in the country. Everybody trusted one another to the extent that you could afford to leave your son or daughter in the care of a neighbour, travel and still come back without any fear of kidnap, rape or ritual killing.
What do you think about rampant cases of ritual killings in the country this period?
I will say it is a tripartite problem. The government, which has failed to provide the needed enabling environment for people to express themselves positively, now makes it look like hard work does not pay anymore. Then, secondly, the society, which has failed to question the sudden wealth of individuals. When we were growing up, people must know the source of your wealth, what you were doing to earn a living and when they saw that the source of your wealth was questionable, society ostracised you. But now, it is no longer so; society now glorifies people with questionable wealth and character. Thirdly, parents, these days don’t spend quality time with their children to ensure that they are properly guided. Some parents now even encourage their children to go to into Yahoo-Yahoo and it is so unfortunate.
Having experienced better days in Nigeria, where exactly did you think the country got it wrong?
Well, I will say our nationalists who struggled for the country’s independence tried their best, as a matter of fact, but if they had allowed the white people to stay longer, perhaps, we would have been better for it. Look at South Africa today, it is because the whites are still there, that is why it seems that country is far more developed than the rest of Africa. A lot of people may not like what I am saying, but it is the truth. Look at the legacies of the white people when they were in Nigeria; some of the things they built that time are still here today, serving us. I think they shouldn’t have hurriedly chased the white men away.
You were around during the Biafran war. What is your recollection of that war?
The Biafran war was another setback for the country. It was a period that should not be remembered. That was when I had my second child and was still nursing her. It was a terrible moment because I hid my daughter in the bush and covered her with leaves. We ran into the bush to take cover and were coming out occasionally whenever we ran out of foodstuffs. That experience was not palatable at all. That is why when I heard those agitating for one thing or the other mention war as an option, I counselled them because anybody that witnessed that war would not dare mention that word again.
Do you think the country can still be salvaged?
Yes, although, the rot is very deep. But the country can still be salvaged and it is a collective effort. The country needs selfless leaders, people who will think about the country first and not those that will be focusing on enriching themselves when they get to power. The people too should see the country as theirs because there is no other place they can call their own.
What is your advice to youths?
Youths should be focused in their education. They should be more committed to acquiring skills because these days, the jobs are no longer available like in the past. So, youths should focus their attention on how they can be job creators and not job seekers.
What do you do to keep fit and stay healthy?
I used to be very fit until recently when I fell off the staircase while I was climbing; I missed my steps and that resulted in me having a partial stroke. I used to be very fit and it is because I eat a lot of vegetables and fruits and I don’t joke with my sleep.
Did you do any sports as a girl?
Yes, I did athletics. I loved running, especially long-distance races.
If you have the opportunity to meet with the Nigerian President, what would you tell him?
I will tell him to release Nnamdi Kanu; yes, Kanu should be released because he is a freedom fighter. The President should find a way to have a dialogue with him so that all these killings and unrest in the South-East will stop. I will tell the President to also find a way of making sure that food prices are reduced, people are hungry and starvation is killing a lot of people, both adults and children. Things were not like this before.
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