We met at the immigration office. The seats (in the waiting arena) were filled up and that meant I had to stand. He didn’t let me stand. He gave up his seat for me and stood instead. Shortly after, a seat was vacant beside me and he sat down. We began to make small talks about sundry issues. We also shared personal experiences on certain issues and he told me the one “doing” him at that moment.
It had to do with a lady he likes so much, who isn’t returning the energy. In fact, he said her rejection “hurts because the person she settled for is not even up to my level.” He told me that he is an accountant with multiple degrees and professional certifications and he is gainfully employed.
I wouldn’t know if he thought I was just looking at him and not paying attention to what he was saying because the next thing he said to me was “you are just staring at me and not talking again. Are you sure your mind is still here.”
He was right! I was looking and not talking because my mind was busy, imagining myself in the shoes of the lady he was talking about. I was wondering if I would have acted differently.
From our interaction, his manners are impressive and his educational background gives him the pedigree that should make him an ideal CATCH to a lot of ladies but his skin is badly bleached!
You see, the average woman’s understanding of the word MAN is VERY traditional and most rigid in reality. Our brain has so idealised it in the appearance, approach and drive in a male that a different reality can easily cause a shift in the MAN we see in him.
For example, in the mind of the average woman, skin-bleaching alone has reduced his masculinity to about 70 per cent. There was a message I received from a lady, sometime back.
It read, “How serious should a woman take a man that keeps long fingernails and twerks when he’s dancing.” It was convenient to trivialise her concerns (as long as he doesn’t hit her and has a reasonable source of income which are the emerging yardsticks that relationships are being measured by) but I knew where those questions were coming from. And it’s most likely from a place that isn’t seeing him as A MAN in totality.
Such dispositions are not meant to seem condescending or judgmental. It’s more of how the average woman’s brain is wired to grasp the connotation of the word, A MAN.
Perhaps, from this perspective, we can now begin to understand how reduced the manliness of a male, who isn’t pulling their weight (in providing, protection and sexual satisfaction) is in a woman’s eyes.
When it’s said that a woman is ‘doing’ someone that the man in her life is better than, the reality is that she went for someone she considered more of A MAN, than him.
The downside of this reality is why a MISGUIDED woman would rather regard a man of polite manners as just ‘’a gentleman’’ but not A MAN.
Or why she would rather tolerate the excesses of one man and abuse the refined approach/leniency of another. Most times that a woman says, ‘you are not a man,’ the import of that declaration is far from just your ability to father children.
It’s the reason men who understand the working of a woman’s mind KNOW well to focus their energy on cultivating the MAN in themselves.
There are women who have trained their minds to accommodate certain “shifts” in how our minds are wired to see A MAN, though.
Sometimes, happiness is doing certain realities with a closed eye.
