Couples share their views on how to handle a difficult spouse
It’s good to know one’s partner – Praise Olusegun
My wife is not a difficult one but dealing with difficult people is dependable on the personality of a problematic person. You need to discover the temperament of that person first to know how to deal with him or her. When you know this, it will be easy dealing with such a person. You will know the right thing to do and you will find solutions easily.
Be patient, prayerful – Oluwaseun Adepoju
The other person must be patient with the difficult spouse. Wives should respect their husbands accordingly. Whenever your spouse is angry, apologise to him or her even when you think you are not at fault, for the sake of peace in the home. Be tolerant and be prayerful. Pray for your difficult spouse. God will touch him or her.
Difficult people hard to handle – Abayomi Ahmed
To deal with such a person, you need patience. Patience is the perfect solution in this situation. Difficult people are hard to handle but when you are patient, you will be able to cope with their attitudes. If it gets worse, don’t be a fool for them. If not, you might blame yourself. Also, discuss it with your spouse and point out the negative behaviours in him or her.
Let your spouse know your feeling – Ranti Arobasalu
As a woman in this situation, there’s nothing much one can do. Men can’t be easily changed and it takes a lot of effort to make them understand how one feels about their attitude towards you. You have to be prayerful and patient. These two things go well and they work. Also communicate with your spouse. Tell him or her how you feel, and let him or her know that you are not comfortable with his or her attitudes. He or she might change after a while.
Know your spouse well – Kolawole Fasipe
The difficult person in a relationship or marriage can be the woman or man. You need to know your difficult spouse well to be able to deal with him or her without causing more problems or violence. He or she might be self-centered, controlling, or toxic, either way, you need to know him or her before finding a solution to the issue at hand. You also need to be patient and be able to talk to the person.
Seek counsel – Maria Tokunbo
Not everyone can put up with a difficult person. You should have known the type of person your spouse is before you both marry. People in relationships or courtship should seek counsel and know their partners before marriage to avoid problems in the future. If you are already married before you found out, discuss such issues with your spouse often. Don’t let him or her control you. In fact, don’t let him or her make you feel bad about yourself.
Talk about it at the right time – Elijah Alawode
When there are problems be it in friendship, relationship, or marriage, communication is vital. But first, recognise the negative attitude your spouse has and which you want to change. Talk to him or her about the attitude. Some people are unintentionally difficult. Let him know what he is doing wrong which you don’t like. Talk about it at the right time so that he does not avoid talking about it. Talk when you are alone and less busy. Don’t shout while talking and don’t show your weakness. Be neutral with him or her.
Difficult persons difficult to change – Bisola Adetunji
May we not marry the wrong person because people are difficult to change once they get married. If you don’t change them before marriage, I don’t think they will ever change but with God’s help and consistency, that person might change. The other person has to do certain things and be patient enough to cope with a difficult partner. A difficult person can also be toxic in some ways and that’s why one has to be careful in dealing with them.
Talk to family, friends – Joseph Akinwande
If you can’t cope with a difficult partner, speak up and seek help. Talk to friends and family, let them advise you but don’t take negative advice. Do the right thing by talking with your partner. Talk to him or her at the right time. Be good to him or her. Don’t be harsh. When he or she does something good, praise him or her. Don’t only look at the negative behaviours but also notice the positive behaviours, which will lead to a positive result.
Dealing with difficult spouse requires patience – Oluwatosin Ojumola
Only a patient and a respectful person can handle a difficult person. If the other person is also crazy and not patient things will get out of hand. They won’t be able to control each other. The other person should be respectful so that he or she can earn respect from his or her spouse. He or she also needs to be patient when talking with the difficult spouse so that the matter won’t be complicated.
