How did your love story begin?
It began with going on a lot of dates. I met my wife in her mum’s bookshop. Her mother was a librarian at Ahmadu Bello University and she had a bookshop in Lagos. After a crisis in the north, she relocated to Lagos and her bookshop was opposite the house I lived at Aguda, Surulere. Whenever her mom saw me, she would say, “Dauda, you are not married…” Then we’ll have some conversations.
One day, I met a young lady in the bookshop and we began discussing a current scandal that happened between a celebrity and her blackmailer. Her mum then brought up the discussion about my single state and I asked her who the lady I was discussing with was. She responded that she was her daughter. I jokingly asked her (the mother) if her daughter was not ‘marriable’ and she told me that I was not the serious type.
What were your first impressions of your spouse when you met?
I kept the conversation with her and then discovered that she had healthy self-esteem, adored her dignity and was responsible. We exchanged phone numbers and continued the conversation when she returned to Zaria to resume work at the immigration office. We began liking each other and were ready for marriage, so we began to click.
What event convinced you to begin the marital journey?
I was further convinced to marry her when she returned to Lagos to attend her niece’s or nephew’s birthday. At that event, she wore a kind of clothes that revealed a part of her body and her mum scolded her for it. I was impressed by the display of responsibility that hovered around the family.
What event made your wedding day memorable?
As an event anchor, I have seen situations where after the event, the host’s relatives would begin to argue over the money that was sprayed and who gets what. But nothing like that happened on my wedding day. They eventually gave my wife the money to count and she wasn’t interested in it. I ended up being the one to count it. It was a bit funny and became a memory that stayed with me.
How has the marital journey been?
It has not been easy. During the first few years, there was no quarrel and I was praying to God that I would never for once have an issue with my wife. But it happened one day and it never happened again.
Men must be able to apologise and take a pause whenever there is a dispute. Also, do not let disputes extend till the next day or else you will not be focused to achieve your family’s goals.
There must be someone your spouse respects or fears and would listen to, so that whenever there is an issue, they can intervene and mediate.
How have you been able to balance your marriage and career?
I have been able to manage my career as an actor and comedian with my marriage because I have a woman that understands my job schedule. I appreciate her patience and the value she adds to the marriage. I pray she has a long life and enjoys her children.
What is the greatest motivation in your career?
I have added being a lawyer to my career. I am currently at Law School and would be called to the bar next year.
What has been the best part of your marriage?
The understanding and appreciation from my wife is one of the best parts of my marriage. She appreciates me for even doing the things that are my responsibility and this encourages me to do more. She is a good woman with a good heart. The best part is that she does not give me stress and has never nagged me once. We have only had a major quarrel once in our 15 years of marriage.
What’s your advice to young people planning to marry?
You must be able to forgive. Also, do not make a vow or swear that if your spouse does a particular thing you would send them away, that is a big lie. When your character begins to unfold in the marriage, try to contend with it.
Your wife is not someone you can just throw out. Men, hold on to your family and be the man of the home. This is not by shouting but by enduring and understanding that you are not the same as your wife.
Also, never play with your spouse to the extent of wanting to bring in someone else because they will end up being the same thing. Hold on tight to what you have. Always hold on to the reality that you are married and have to stay in it. Don’t look out and begin to have a fantasy of marrying someone else.
