According to Mail Online, the unidentified woman wrote to The Atlantic’s Dear Therapist column to reveal this unusual situation.
She explained that when she and her husband got married, he already had two children of his own, while she had none.
Although they both desired to have a child together, her husband had previously undergone a vasectomy, which was irreversible. As a result, they had to find an alternative solution.
In her letter to the publication, the woman wrote,
“We didn’t want to use a sperm bank, so we asked my husband’s son to be the donor. We believed this was the best decision as our child would have my husband’s genetic traits, and we were aware of my stepson’s good health, personality, and intelligence. He agreed to help. Now that our daughter is 30, how do we tell her that her ‘father’ is her grandfather, her ‘brother’ is her father, her ‘sister’ is her aunt, and her ‘nephew’ is her half-brother?”
She further expressed her anxiety, and worry about revealing this information. She said the situation is also challenging for her husband, as he wants their daughter to understand that he will always be her father.
In response, psychotherapist and columnist Lori Gottlieb acknowledged that the woman’s daughter will need to come to terms with two challenging truths: the identity of her biological father and the fact that her parents have kept this information hidden for three decades.
Gottlieb then proceeded to provide advice on how to approach such sensitive topic.
Firstly, she emphasized the importance of stating the facts in a simple and clear manner and offering a sincere apology. Gottlieb encouraged the mother to take full responsibility for not revealing the truth from the beginning, avoiding making excuses.
