A 31-year-old teacher from Bayelsa State, Gift Watchful, tells TEMITOPE ADETUNJI why she chose to focus on her aspiration despite coming down with polio at the age of five and facing discrimination
What did your parents tell you about how you came with a disability?
I wasn’t born with a disability. According to my mother, it all started when I was five years old. I was walking and playing with other children and was normal, but along the way, I became very sick. I was taken to different hospitals, traditional homes, and churches. I lost my ability to walk at home, but as God would have it when I turned seven, I started walking with the aid of a stick. That was when I started going to school as a child.
Was it confirmed at a hospital that you had polio?
It’s polio. That was what my mother was told because I had shown signs of polio.
What other efforts did your parents make to give you medical attention?
Sincerely, I am not from a wealthy background. And since my parents didn’t have the financial means, what they did most was done in the traditional way and a church. So, I was taken from one traditional house to another, and from prayer house to another, to look for a solution. So much effort was not put into the medical aspect. I walked with the aid of a stick for years. I stopped walking with sticks in 2004. I had to use my left hand to support my left leg while walking. My right leg became bow-legged, resulting in a deformity.
How many children do your parents have?
I have three siblings and I am the first daughter. I have two sisters and one brother.
How have you been able to cope with this challenge?
It was tough growing up. At school, some of my classmates used to snatch my walking stick thereby leaving me stranded and unable to go home when I wanted to. Sometimes, when that happened, a teacher had to call my mother to come and carry me home because I had no means of going home on my own. She sometimes came to my school with another stick.
Did your classmates do that to punish you?
They did that just to punish me, and sometimes they bullied me. It wasn’t easy, but I thank God I pulled through. It has not been easy, especially in the area of discrimination and all that. As a person with a disability, when you attend a job interview even when you know that you can do the job and are qualified, you don’t get the job. Also, being a female, men didn’t want to have anything to do with you. They just wanted to take advantage. I have three children but the fathers do not take responsibility for them.
Are you married?
No, I was never married. I have three children for two men. One of the men is the father of two of my children.
What do you do currently?
I currently teach in a private school but I took a break at some point due to some medical issues; the pain I do feel in my legs is too much. However, I have resumed work at the same school.
Do you have any qualifications as a teacher?
Yes. I attended Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Anambra State, after secondary school.
What did you study there?
I gained admission in 2010. I graduated in 2016 because I had a part-time job. I studied Educational Management and Policy.
Did you face the same discrimination you faced when you were in primary and secondary school at the university?
What I will say about my tertiary education is that my mental capability changed. So, if you accept me, I will go with you. If you don’t accept me, I will keep you in your lane. That was how I dealt with discrimination. I move with people who accept me the way I am. And if I see that a person doesn’t really want to come close to me, I keep that person where they belong. I move with only those who accept me. That was how I related with people.
Did you have supportive friends that you would say influenced you positively?
Yes. I had friends and one of them, a female, never saw me as someone with a disability. When people were running to attend lectures or arrive early in exam halls because they were running late, she would wait for me. Sometimes, I used to tell her to run along and assured her that I would be behind her, but she always insisted, saying we had to be in the class together.
You spoke about having three children for two men. Were you ever involved in any relationships?
I was once in a relationship in which I had my first daughter.
What happened?
The level of discrimination in the South-East is higher than any other place in Nigeria. His family didn’t allow him to marry me. To date, they don’t know I had a child for their son.
Was he aware that you got pregnant and had a child?
He knows. He was involved in raising her. But at a point, he pulled out because he went to see his mum and his siblings were also there and didn’t approve of me at all. Up until today, only God knows how I paid her school fees.
How old is your first daughter?
She is 11 years old.
What about the second and third children?
The second is two years old and has cerebral palsy and the last is just eight months old. About this second father of my children, we were together, and I won’t lie, I thought I had found a husband in him, and there was no going back. But I think frustration set in, and things got so bad that we couldn’t even pay our house rent and all that. That was February (2023); he left and told me he was going to his village, and up until now, I’ve not seen him. There is no help anywhere and I have not done so much for my child who has cerebral palsy. I only take her out for a massage.
Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?
When I took her to a hospital, we were referred to a specialist hospital but due to lack of funds, I couldn’t take her there. Since I gave birth to her, she hasn’t walked, but she can move her legs and sit when supported.
How have you been taking care of your children?
I would say my pastor and mother are very supportive. I go to church and hear the word of God. The word is medicine for my soul. I believe in the word and my mom has been supportive.
What about your dad? Is he alive?
Yes, but my dad had an accident, so he is just at home and not financially capable for now, but my mother has been very supportive. I felt I ought to be somewhere now but due to my condition, I’ve not been able to accomplish that. However, whenever I want to do it and know it is within my power to do it, my condition cannot stop me.
There was a time I applied for a job but was disqualified. I didn’t see it as a big deal because there were also able-bodied people who got disqualified. But my most painful experience came from a relationship I had with someone in 2017. I never knew he was married, but we were so close that I never knew that he was just on a mission to take advantage of me. Yes, I felt he took advantage of me. So, that really made me sad, and I cried, and I even fell sick for about a month and was admitted to the hospital. It has not been easy but deceit from men only strengthened me. I am now concerned about my children and how to cater to them.
Has your condition hindered any of your childhood dreams or aspirations?
No. My condition has not hindered anything. Although I wanted to study Law. I wasn’t offered admission by the University of Benin. The same thing happened at Nnamdi Azikiwe University. I wasn’t accepted because my performance wasn’t up to the required mark.
How would you describe the condition of people with disabilities in Nigeria?
People with disabilities struggle for everything. Before the government created the disability commission, we struggled for it. Although the Disability Rights Act was signed in 2018, some states have yet to domesticate it. In Bayelsa State now, even last week, some people with disabilities went to see one of the female House of Assembly members so that she could bring up the bill again for them to sign it into law in Bayelsa. So, we have to fight for everything that has to do with the rights of people with disabilities, even in governance. However, to me, there are two things involved. Are those who are living with disabilities ready to fight for their rights? If they are, will the people or government give them the support they need? No! So it is a two-way thing.
Do you have political ambition?
Yes, I do. As time goes on, God will lead me.
Have you ever blamed anyone for your condition?
No. I haven’t. I have low moments and I can’t really remember any for now, but all I can say is that handling them isn’t easy. However, it still boils down to reading the word of God. A living dog is better than a dead lion. Once there is life, there is hope.
Do you think your challenge brought out unusual strength in you?
There are days when my kids and I go hungry and sleep without food. If I don’t motivate myself to be strong, I will just commit suicide one day, which I don’t pray for. I just have to strengthen myself every day.
Did you not meet any man who really cared about you?
I think there was someone I met in school then but didn’t even have his phone number. I didn’t even know where he lived, but he used to take me out, buy me food, and take me back to my home. He kept doing the same thing and didn’t ask for anything in return. He just said he wanted me to feel special.
Is there anything you would like to change about yourself?
I don’t really like what I do because life is a struggle and it has been very tough, but I do it because I need to feed myself, and the salary is very small as a teacher. I would like to establish a non-governmental organisation. I still desire to study Law. Before I turn 40, if I have the means, I will get a second degree in Law.
What gets you angry when people or comedians make utterances about your condition?
To me, they (comedians) are doing their jobs. I don’t take it personally. But they should not go to the extreme so that people with disabilities don’t feel bad. But no utterance can make me angry at this stage; I have accepted myself the way I am. Everyone is unique in their own way.
As a mother of three, what kind of help do you need?
The kind of help I need now is to have a stable business, so I can see my children through school. My first daughter didn’t go to school last term because of the fees; she stopped in the second term of JSS 2.
This term, I want to make sure she starts school. I used to sell frozen food but the responsibilities were too much and I couldn’t continue. I am a good business manager, so if I have the opportunity and money, I would like to continue my business. I can also sell second-hand clothes for children and adults because I used to do it sometimes.
