Weeks back I opened a file for this piece, wrote a few lines, but left it there. That was until a Nigerian named David Azeez wrote some things online. He wrote at length but the intro went like this: “This is for the deceived generation who curse and insult elders and fathers like Baba E.A Adeboye.” This comment makes me pick up this file again in order to express what has always been my view on sundry issues regarding Pastor Enoch Adeboye, the General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, a mission that is in 200 nations across the world with over 38,000 parishes in Nigeria alone.
My intervention is lengthy, so I’ll stop wherever space permits me and take up the rest later. But I state this straightaway: Azeez said some “curse and insult elders and fathers like Baba E.A Adeboye”; yet I never heard that Adeboye swore when people do this much to him. I suppose this is expected of any true preacher because it’s what the holy book they use instructs. I shall return to this point. Meanwhile, there’re two perspectives from which I focus the searchlight on some issues as they pertain to Adeboye. One is how Adeboye conducts himself as a preacher and religious leader, which is my main focus. The other deals with what he has said about his marriage to his wife, Pastor Mrs Folu Adeboye.
The first perspective is something I’ve written about severally on this page particularly what, in any nation, is expected of preachers. Of late I’ve equally focused on the second perspective regarding how the views of those who have weathered the storms of marriage can positively influence millions of other married couples. The two perspectives are important because they are part of the frameworks a society or nation needs in order to stand. Preachers, with the morals they teach, are central in the fabric of society or nation. Successful marriages are central to keeping society intact, positively raise the next generation, as well as promote those values without which no nation has hope.
I shall start with the issue of marriage. Comments that Adeboye made of recent about his marriage actually inspired me to open this file in the first place, as I stated earlier. The latest of his comments that I took note of came on the occasion of his 55th wedding anniversary. But I’ve caught a few of his other comments over the years. Some I overheard, others I read and I think they’re lessons in how people should treat their spouses. I overheard Adeboye said he preferred that any disenchanted member of his congregation took up issues with him rather than with his wife. He’s said his wife is so precious to his life and ministry that he won’t condone it if anyone misbehaves to her. I overheard he said what his wife means to him can’t be comprehended by anyone else, so it’s better detractors don’t make the mistake of showing disrespect to her.
Not too long ago there was a report online in which Adeboye said he regularly fasted for forty days for the ministry and that his wife joined him. On his 55th wedding anniversary, he wrote the following: “My darling Pastor Folu Adeboye, the woman who has suffered with me, she stood by me when we had nothing. I was the poorest and the least known of all the men after her 55 years ago. But she left all those who were famous, well-to-do and she picked me.” These days when marriages are treated like ‘use and discard’ pieces of paper, what Adeboye said is something I’ve applauded on this page at the time a few other men said the same regarding their wives.
Why do I refer to this matter? Adeboye’s marriage and comments on marriage could serve as examples to many. He and his wife are an inspiration. Every society needs inspiration. The society that is inspired continues to uphold values that sustain a nation. For if the drama we see online as many make a circus of divorce is what obtains in all cases, a society has no hope. I shouldn’t move away from this point without expressing my view regarding anyone who wrongly approaches other people’s spouses. There’re different facets to the phenomenon but I focus on people who differentiate between the husband and the wife.
It’s a big surprise to me when some say they like the husband but they don’t like the wife or vice-versa; I wonder if they know what marriage means. I’m baffled by the orientation that informs the thinking. I am, because it’s an error to differentiate wife from the husband by any outsider interacting with them. The respect you show one must be accorded the other. Differentiating between a wife and her husband is even more baffling when it’s considered that many religionists treat couples who’re religious leaders this way. Being a religious leader is no small matter. The married preacher needs to work together with his wife to ensure success. It’s a lot of sacrifice on the part of couples who lead congregations and it takes someone who doesn’t have an appreciation of this to show respect to the husband but assert they don’t like the wife, or vice-versa.
Lack of understanding here is more obvious when it’s remembered that it’s difficult to build a successful ministry on an unsuccessful marriage. Building a successful marriage itself requires sacrifice from the parties involved. So it’s something I can’t comprehend that anyone would consider showing disrespect to one of the parties as Adeboye reportedly warned regarding his own wife. But people do these things and that those who’re religionists engage in it is something I don’t get. Does the holy book they use teach religionists to behave this way to couples that lead congregations is one logical question to ask? But a logical question is something one can hardly ask many religionists these days. This is the case in a situation where one has had to severally interrogate public comments some followers and religious leaders make which aren’t in the holy book they use. This situation leads to the second perspective to my piece – Adeboye’s life as a preacher.
David Azeez’s comments about Adeboye make me ask the question: Why are the voices of people who insult true religious leaders so loud online, but voices of those who appreciate the relevance of true religious leaders like Azeez are quiet? This is one observation. The other observation is how many who indicate they’re religious also exhibit what isn’t taught by the holy book they use? Azeez mentions those who insult their fathers’ age-mates. Many who openly display some form of religiosity online belong in the category. There you find Peter and Agatha who insult people who are older than themselves in one post, and in other posts ask that they and their followers online discuss religious matters. Religionist? Is it that these Peters and Agathas don’t realise that observers dissect what they say, wondering if they’re for real?
It’s not only religious followers who do this. Many preachers make comments that make one cringe. What they say sometimes can’t be reconciled with what is in the holy book they use. One gospel singer was bad-mouthing another in a news report. She went on and on about how the other gospel singer was full of herself. I’m surprised such religionists don’t consider how they come across to thoughtful audiences that have expectations of how religionists should conduct themselves. When they talk unseemly they come across looking bad, not the person they bad-mouth. The state of anyone’s heart is smoke – can’t be concealed under religious garb.
The public conduct of many followers and religious leaders is such that one concludes: If this is the way religionists behave, one doesn’t need to search for people who have no religion. It’s a worrying situation because the impact of what religious leaders do or say in the public space isn’t limited to their congregation. There’re impacts on the nation, one reason we shouldn’t be silent as can be seen in my interventions on this page. But as I do this I’ve also been taking note of the manner Adeboye conducts himself as a preacher.
