A family friend has a house she can call her own in Nigeria today, thanks to my relationship and her husband.
This same lady who grew up with us and made our house her second home travelled overseas some years back without telling us.
We were like sisters. And kept nothing from each other.
I think it was from her pictures on social media that my relation (who is closer to her) found out but we chose to let her be.
Eventually, when she started calling us, she was blocking her number to call us. But on her birthday, I convinced my relation to look for her number and call her. Because we have a tradition of calling each other on our birthdays.
Against her wish, she took my advice and reached out to this lady’s relation for her contact details.
What that one told her is that they were instructed not to release the number to “outsiders”.
That was it for us. And we chose to stay in our lane.
Some months later, the same lady started communicating again.
This time around, she would leave the number unblocked and then ask you,” Is my number showing? Please save it.”
We did not bother saving her number and we only picked up calls when she called.
She must have sensed the change in our body language towards her because she apologised, explaining that she listened to “advice” to cut off people back home if she didn’t want her stress level to spike.
Anyway, another ugly reality that hit her was when she discovered that, a relation of hers that claimed she was instructed not to give the phone number to outsiders duped her of several millions of naira, which was meant to be used to buy land for her.
After a lot of consideration and appeals from her, my relationship and the husband stepped in and began to handle her building project.
That house was completed last year and that is where she and her family spent their Christmas holidays when they visited home.
I don’t know what comes over some people when they think they have made it.
As far as I am concerned, that attitude is the easiest way to know an ungrateful person.
That impulse to distance themselves from those they struggled with, when fortunate smiles on them, that is!
People with good hearts think of how to give old friends a helping hand out of hardship and not how to hide their contact details, from them.
Once they are comfortable enough, they look back to see who they can help.
They don’t block and excommunicate those they feel are still down there.
If someone has begun to behave that way towards you, the best response to them is distance.
Don’t go out of your way to call them, even if you are starving.
If they don’t give you their number voluntarily, don’t ask for it.
If they don’t inform you when they are around, don’t bother visiting them.
If you see them on the road, greet them and go your way.
Self-respect is the hallmark of contentment!
True friends don’t wait for you to come hat in hand to them. They know what to do for you.
Someone making it before you does not mean they are the only ones who will make it.
You are on your way, too. It’s a matter of time and God’s grace.
Hard work is the easiest route to self-respect, mind you.
For some reason, ungrateful people are quick to think they have arrived. And the next thing is that they will start their childish show-off or “pepper them” drama.
As long as you don’t have long-throat, you have already put such people in their place.
Their livewire is people grovelling before them. Starve them of your energy!
It is not arrogance. It is called self-respect.
Another thing we need to understand is that success does not have a humble spirit. And that spirit must ‘touch’ whoever does not have the maturity to contain it.
Even some of us who are complaining about the attitude of others may end up acting the same way towards those we are leaving behind.
Some of us don’t believe we have upgraded if we have not convinced ourselves that some people should be downgraded in our lives.
The only thing that makes you appreciate old friends is when you suddenly realize they are gold, after you have had your fingers burned by the ‘new friends’ you feel are up to your standard.
Some people that are in our lives may no longer be on the same page with us but learn to manage people and not be quick to cut them off.
You never know when they will be your saving grace.
