Dear Aunty Temilolu,
I didn’t have sex with my boyfriend because I’m still a virgin but out of play, he put his manhood on my vagina with my legs closed. He didn’t push it in. But it hurt when he did so. The shocking thing was when I got home; I discovered my pants were full of blood though not much. But I’m scared; does that mean I’m no longer a virgin?
Anonymous, 18
Dear Miss Anonymous,
To start with chastity begins from the heart. If your mind is not pure it’s difficult to stay chaste which is what is playing out in your life. If you don’t love God with all your heart and strongly possess His spirit, you can’t be chaste! My sweet, perhaps you’ve forgotten, you sent me a text earlier about you dating a guy who expresses true love without asking for sex. You also told me you weren’t interested in him and also asked me if you were normal as you don’t feel anything for Nigerian guys. Can you remember? My answer to you was “If I were you, I’d concentrate on my studies for now. I like that you aren’t interested. There’s time for everything. Guys like to use and dump girls your age!” Could this be the same guy?
When I tell you not to have a boyfriend even at 18 which is meant to be a prime age know what I’m talking about! 18 is an age when your hormones and the world make you so aware of your womanhood. It’s the official adult age. You’re out of high school and about to explore the higher institution which you would probably have gained admission into at 17. You begin to see yourself as a full-grown woman who shouldn’t be restricted any longer. Friends and even younger ones around you keep talking about sex, boys, men, romance, etc. Even your parents in a bid to get you to carry out certain tasks will constantly remind you, that you are no longer a baby. The boys in your hood are already whistling at your shapely body, your uncle’s friends won’t stop telling you how pretty you are. Your tutor or boss at your vacation job won’t spare you either! They begin to ask you if you have a boyfriend. They begin to wonder who’s taking care of beautiful you. Your body won’t even help matters- at the slightest touch of a guy, just a handshake from a good-looking guy, you’re already trembling and I tell you except you keep your distance with a stern face, the boys/men out there these days are grabbers! You dare not smile broadly; they stupidly see it as easy access to you and stretch out for a hug or an unnecessary touch! Whew! I know what you’re going through and believe me, an 18-year-old must be very strong to handle the pressures of a depraved world.
I must let you know that most guys would tell you while wooing you that they are not interested in sex. They tell you all they need is your companionship. They probably won’t even show any signs in a bid to make you fall for them hook, line, and sinker. After being bombarded by gifts and overwhelming attention, your body begins to sing and thirst for your lover’s touch because he’s by now living in the depths of your soul which is what eventually informs your actions. It is so easy for a woman to submit herself to one who has shown true love, least of all a baby like you! What do you know my darling?
Well, I must let you know that you just had sex with your boyfriend. Sexual intercourse is sexual contact between individuals involving penetration from the man. “Penetration” is the keyword in sexual intercourse. Even if he didn’t get in, he pierced your hymen already! It could be partially torn and it could be completely broken even through other means like swimming or cycling etc. There’s a lot I’ll explain about the hymen sometime. But please STAY AWAY FROM HIM, STAY AWAY FROM HIM, STAY AWAY FROM ROMANCE! STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY! If you start sleeping with a man, you may never be able to stop till you’ve slept with every single guy that comes your way! Concentrate on your studies for now and the Holy Spirit – you’ll end up with the best of men. I assure you! God loves you, so do I!
I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowotemilolu
Are you still engaging in premarital sex? Each act devalues you! Your wonders are waiting to start. God is waiting for you to become a Secondary virgin! You are most welcome on board the chastity campaign train and Girls Club is open for all girls and ladies. Please text your name, age, school or occupation, and State of domicile to 07086620576.
